i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
