Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
