too bad you live with your parents still
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
