none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
