i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
3pm strippers are depressing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
