It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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