hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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