..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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