hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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