Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
