Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
