So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
