kristin has been a bad kristin
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
