I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
