i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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