I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
