his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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