Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
