Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
