Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
