Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sorry my hands just texted you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
