How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
