I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
