i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
