drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
