Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
