god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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