Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
