Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
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