I didn't shave. On purpose
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
