wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
