and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
