She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
