# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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