i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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