I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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