Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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