before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize