Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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