Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
