Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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