he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
