At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
