the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
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I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Shame - the story of my life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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