Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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