apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
