You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
