There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Its about making memories worth repressing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
