we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
