I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
