Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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