I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize