Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
