She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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