using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
