You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
