Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Randomize
