i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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