Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
