so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
