She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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