hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize