i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
