Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
