idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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