"it" just moved
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
