is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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