I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.