So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
