nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
