One girl and one boy is just not enough.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm too high and old for this...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
