why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
